It happened again yesterday. My mom was being all ‘If you aren’t doing any house chores, you’ll be criticized by your in laws for eternity’ and ‘You aren’t that good at studies either, I mean, you’re studying B.com!’ (she said the last word like she had just eaten something rather nasty).
And so, I was really depressed and anxious about my whole life. Then I thought about my friends who are genuinely pathetic. And about every damn unfortunate event that has ever occurred in my life (All of this generally seems to happen when my parents are acting like a bunch of- well, are acting as opposed to how most of the parents would in a given situation). In fact, I was so damn depressed that I wasn’t even looking forward to my French Class that evening. And believe me, nothing in my life right now excites me as much as my French Class. But I had to go, didn’t I?
So I went. And as soon as I got out of my house, I had one thing in mind. I will switch off my phone ( I know it sounds dramatic, but it didn’t at that time!). Because I was mad at everything and everyone and I wanted to just be by myself. Mainly, I wanted to scream at the top of my voice.
I got into the bus. Took a sit by the window. Normally I’d have had my earphones plugged in but I didn’t this time. This time I just sat staring out the window without really looking at anything.
I reached my destination and my phone was (still) off and in my bag so I couldn’t check the time but I didn’t really care. I had never been so disinterested in my French class. So anyway, I took my usual seat as I entered the classroom. And two whole hours later, when we were done for the day, I couldn’t remember having so much fun in any of my classes.
I did not want to talk to anyone the whole day. Didn’t want any contact with humans. But I don’t know how I was the one person that talked the most that day in class. And I don’t know how could this have happened, I’m completely clueless. I thought maybe the day’s lecture had been interesting or perhaps it was just the fact that my phone was off and I felt completely disconnected from the world where I was a miserable twenty-year-old.
Probably, the latter, now that I think about it.
Perhaps, we all live in the age where your phone is actually a Portal. If it is turned on, you connect to the world where you normally are. Where you have all the worries and responsibilities and anxiety. But when you have it switched off, you are connected to this other world where things are less fucked up.
Whether your phone is a portal, I don’t know but mine certainly is.